The number one question every pregnant woman asks is “What is motherhood like”? Or maybe it’s the number two question after “What’s labor like”? But the labor question is easy to answer: Scary AF.
I remember being pregnant and terrified thinking about what sort of mom I’d be. Would I be enough? Would I know what and how to do things for my baby? Would I love my kid and vice versa the way we all dream of? I read all of the popular books, and every internet and magazine article I could find. I joined too many mom groups and pregnant women forums to count. I tried so hard to prepare myself; to answer that #1 nagging question.
I remember during the first couple of weeks of motherhood feeling so angry, because nothing I read or researched prepared me at all. The reality of motherhood is unexplainable. You simply can not comprehend the lifestyle change and all that being a momma entails until you become one. There is no magical preparation book or personal story that will truly prepare you for motherhood.
Being a mom means putting your kid and their needs before yourself for the rest of your life. What you want and need no longer matters. Everything is about them. Every single decision you make and action you take after that baby is born will be done in a way that’s in their best interest. Always. It will be instinctual.
When your kid is sick, nothing else will matter. The world will seem like it stops spinning, as you exhaust every second of your day doing all that you can to minimize their pain, while simultaneously trying to heal them as quickly as possible. You will stay up all night long, literally, rocking them to sleep, so they can rest. You will walk your hysterically crying child around the entire house for hours and probably miles too, in an effort to calm them down. Because when you’re a mom you feel everything your child feels, and it will be completely draining, but totally worth it.
In an effort to remain sane the first few months of momin’, I remember making up inappropriate, adult versions of the nursery rhymes I sang to my son. I had never been so tired in my life and it was the smallest things, like the little one from the ants go marching stopping to take a poo instead of tie his shoe that made me laugh instead of cry in those crazy moments.
Transitioning to motherhood is intense.
I always wondered why the hell everyone makes pregnancy and parenting sound like rainbows and ponies, because in the beginning it is nothing like that. There’s no freaking glitter and nothing goes as planned at first. NOTHING. Actually most of the time things still don’t go as planned, but my expectations are so low now, it’s whatever.
In the beginning, you miss your old life. You miss your partner and the person you used to be. You miss the old hobbies and interests that you no longer have time to pursue. What you don’t know in the beginning is that this parenting thing gets easier. It changes, you change, and eventually, while it’s never easy, it will at least be somewhat less hard. Inspirational statement right there, I know. But, it’s the truth.
As your love for that little creature grows, the struggles of motherhood (while never easy) will become more bearable. You will learn how to function feeling completely dead 24/7, because you never sleep. It will literally become your new norm, at least at first, and that’s okay. We all do it. You will get into a new routine and things will flow, eventually. I promise.
So, what is motherhood like?
Motherhood is hard, but it is worth it. It is the single most difficult thing you will ever do, hands down, but it is worth it. Motherhood is messy, and trying, but it is worth it. There will be many sleepless nights and lots of crying on both sides, but it is worth it. Being a mom is scary, because you never really know what the “right thing” is, but you do your best anyway. You will feel like a legit crazy person often, but it is worth it.
Motherhood is fucking beautiful. It is the single most important job you will ever have and the most meaningful thing you will ever do in your life. Every single struggle, fear and discomfort will be worth it!! Having kids is seriously a blessing and a miracle unlike anything else. ❤
Photo credit: Jackie Macpherson